Genuine Love (Romans 12:9-21)

Open & Affirming Sunday

Genuine Love

Romans 12:9-21

Today’s reading is an extension of last week’s, the continuation of chapter 12 in Paul’s letter to the

Roman church where he writes: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.”[i]

And now, just a few verses later, he describes some of what that transformation looks like:

“if your enemies are hungry, feed them;

if they are thirsty, give them something to drink;

(and if you really can’t find incentive to be that nice to an “enemy,” Paul gives us some help by adding,

“by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads.”)

This past week I was talking with a friend about how, each morning, she’d encounter her neighbor outside their adjacent garages.  And each morning, he’d studiously ignore her presence:

pretend he didn’t see,               

didn’t hear,               

didn’t know she was there.

And being a genuinely loving person, she persisted each day with a neighborly “good morning!”

“Should I even bother?” she wondered aloud.

Having already been meditating on this passage, I responded:

“Absolutely, for by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.”  J

~~~

I wrestled with God this week about preaching today’s text.

And to be honest, my preference would be to focus on this “heaping of coals”—

because there seem to be so many “enemies,”

or at least uncaring people toward whom we’re called to be caring—

so I wanted to talk about that rather than highlight the loving actions Paul proscribes for a Christian;

actions that I know I fail to achieve all of the time. He presents a hard list to follow.

I can admit this shortcoming because I imagine that many of you have had similar feelings at some time.

Yet wrestling and frustration do not let us escape the truth we find in today’s reading.

In fact, perhaps struggling with a particular passage means there is much more for us to learn.

When I joked about the “heaping of hot coals” with my friend—

suggesting her neighbor may eventually feel some shame about his discourteous actions—

I realized she was facing something seemingly pervasive in our world right now:

the need for Paul’s genuine love.

Not Hallmark-emotional love

and not becoming a doormat for all people’s pain,

but active, concrete philia.

The simple hello: an acknowledgement of your existence.

The basic care of one human being for another, just because.

It’s the sandbox imperative to “play nice!” And the true reason I wrestled this week is because I’ve recently wondered where that imperative has gone.

You’ll not be surprised about my wondering if I describe some of the nasty language or assumptions

spanning the internet

defaming President Obama and Michele Bachmann:

idiotic and goofball are the tamest names out there.

And maybe you didn’t even blink at the personal nature or outrageousness of the “news” headline

regarding Muammar Qaddafi’s supposed crush on Condoleezza Rice.

And closer to home: someone recently told me about 2 bumper stickers side-by-side;

the first saying: Got Jesus? and beside it, as if creating an “if-then” statement: Annoy a Liberal. 

Even if the 2 stickers had said, Got Jesus? then Annoy a Conservative or Annoy Anyone,

I’d feel the same frustration! Is that what “having Jesus” means?

“Play nice” seems to be an expectation we can grow out of when we trade the sandbox in for a cell phone.

At the risk of sounding like my grandfather when he’d begin a “in my day” story,

I wonder if you have also had that sense that people just don’t care about

being nice to one another in the small ways?

We make the big gestures to bring about God’s Shalom—

like crossing continents for a mission effort in Venezuela

or sending money to rebuild Haiti’s infrastructure,

even praying for the drought-affected people in Somalia.

But our big-energy projects can never eclipse the need for small endeavors,

the minute-but-major interactions that happen

in the grocery store,

on the sidewalk,

at coffee hour,

in your living room;

the minute-but-major interactions that Paul lays out in his letter to the church at Rome:

“Let love be genuine.”

For Paul, “love is the primary term describing the result of faith both in the believer and the community in Christ.”[ii]

Just one chapter after today’s reading in Romans he writes:

“Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not murder; You shall not steal…’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is fulfilling of the law.”[iii]

And think of his more famous letter to another struggling church:

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude….

it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.”

Paul loves love!

He believes it is a true gift of God,

Jesus’ overarching teaching,

and a tangible response to our faith.

And he expects Christians to genuinely act out that love. 

Do not be conformed to this world or this age;

do not give in to the nastiness and unfounded assumptions about others.

Just because your neighbor is rude, do not return rudeness for rudeness—

but be transformed by the renewing of your minds,

so that you may discern…what is good and acceptable and perfect.

~~~

I hope you’ve already made the connection about why I am babbling on about

love and Obama and Bachmann and bumper stickers and civil interaction

on Open & Affirming Sunday.

Because ONA is not just an abstract idea;

not just a nice claim so we can feel good about welcoming gays and lesbians into Christ’s already-welcoming heart. Rather, Open & Affirming is an active way of living God’s extravagant love—

integrating Paul’s love letters into our every interaction:

whether or not the other is someone of a different gender, gender identity or sexual orientation than you; whether or not the other is of the same educational, economic or ethnic background as you;

whether or not, as Paul reminds us, they have wronged you in some way: “do not be overcome by evil.”

Someone reminded me this week that minorities or underdogs of whatever type—

sexual orientation, physical ability, etc.—

have to necessarily be more diligent in finding ways to overcome evil with good—

because assumptions, slights, intentional hurt or simple ignorance come their way constantly.

Overcoming in such exhausting circumstances is so much harder.

And still it can happen.

One great example is the Angel Action project:

people who dressed up in giant wings outside the trial of Matthew Shepherd’s murderers,

assembling to block from view Fred Phelps’ “God Hates Fags” signs and protestors.

This project has become more widespread, here in Fort Collins and around the country,

with silent, loving counter-protestors appearing as a love-guard at soldiers’ funerals,

where the Phelps family continues to show its hate.

That’s a big example.

We all have times when we wrestle with living fully into these mandates of active love in small measure,

particularly as we witness so much incivility in the world around us.

My friend will probably never have resolution about how not to feel snubbed by her neighbor.

Internet and news diatribes are not going to miraculously become

more courteous or respectful of the human beings about whom they write.

HOWEVER: we have a role in this world as Christ’s Church:

do not be conformed to what is out there—but be transformed;

and be transformers! hold fast to what is good;

don’t give in to the incivility that seethes from all around—

don’t add to it; do not be overcome by it, but overcome it with actions of genuine love.

~~~

Do I really believe this is possible?

Because yes, it is a huge responsibility put on us

by Paul; by Christ; by God.

This is a hard list to try to live, as imperfect as we all are.

As imperfect as I am.

But yes: I believe.

Even at my worst, when I wrestle and argue with God about the part I play

in bringing God’s Shalom to this world, I believe

because this is what Jesus

taught

and lived

and expected of his followers.

And I believe because, every once in a while, a seemingly insignificant action can stand out so vividly as a reflection of love’s truth. Like last week at a funeral reception: a member of Plymouth stood pouring lemonade for the guests when an elderly man approached her to ask: “Where do I put my dirty cup?” The dish window was maybe 3 feet from where she stood;

yet, instead of pointing and sending him over there,

she extended her hand,

open palm up,

and simply said:

“Right here.”

This is what it means to be Open & Affirming:

not joining in the insult of political figures;

not slapping on a bumper sticker to tick off the car behind you;

not even heaping delightfully shaming coals on an uncivil neighbor’s head;

but an open palm of care for others: of genuine love.

Simple.

And yet perhaps the hardest thing we are called to in this world.

~~~

So the message for today, as it is every Sunday, is

Let love be genuine.

Let love be in your mind and in your heart.

Let love be in your words and in your deeds.

Let love be your very being.

And when you fail at love, because we do and we will,

may you remember God’s Open & Affirming love,

God’s open hand,

stretched out for you.

Amen.

---

[i] Romans 12:2

[ii] Harper Collins Bible Dictionary, revised edition, p. 626.

[iii] Romans 13:8-10.